It’s myth-bustin’ time, my friend! Time to re-align your perspectives and make things right
Myth #1: “You HAVE to have a stripper”
Let’s start off a little lighthearted. The stripper is a classic icon of the traditional bachelorette party and is still a firm favourite among many brides-to-be. However, more and more we are seeing requests for “Classy” or “Sophisticated” Hen weekends where the bride would rather crawl into a hole and die than have a scantily clad man (or woman) shaking their bits in her face.
The truth is, while it is a bit of fun, you need to keep in mind that if the bride really does not want that kind of entertainment, then there is no mystical rule that says you should go against her wishes and get one anyway. If you are the bride, you don’t need to worry about whether or not you SHOULD have one. Do you want one? Yes or No. It’s that simple.
There are SO MANY other things you can do for fun (“Adult” or otherwise) on How to Hen if you need some inspiration.
Myth #2: “You HAVE to invite your Mum/ Mother in Law/Aunt/Sister/Work friend/ etc”
This is SO not true.
Yes, family/ friend politics can be hella difficult.
For the Brides:
You are probably learning that this is the one time in your life you get to be unashamedly selfish (within reason) and say things like “It’s MY day/weekend/trip etc”. It might seem cliché but cliches become that way because they are true.
Life is too short to spend one of the best weekends of your life in the company of people you’d rather not be there. So be brutal with your guest list and don’t look back.
For the Organisers:
Once your Bride has given you her list of definite guests,
you can ask her if there’s any particular way she’d like you to let down anyone
who tries to approach you for an invite. She may say you should let her know
and she will deal with it, but I usually recommend trying to keep her out of it
as she already has enough wedding planning stress to deal with.
If you get people coming out of the woodwork and complaining that they should be invited, you can choose all sorts of ways to explain the situation:
- Be Blunt – Explain that the Bride had a clear idea of how she wanted to celebrate and that you support her and want to make it the best weekend possible.
- Blame the venue – You can say that there is a specific accommodation and as it has limited capacity you aren’t able to fit any more in. Note*- if they say they will just come during the day/stay somewhere else then you can explain that it will make things like budget complicated and will affect the flow of the weekend
- Say there will be a “Home” Hen which will include lots more people (even if that event doesn’t ever materialise)
- Offer to help organise something nice for the bride on their behalf or a nice experience just for the two of them.
Myth #3: You have to travel abroad
If the coronavirus pandemic showed us anything, it showed us that we can really have great celebrations and events in our own back yard!
Hen parties in the past few years have become more and more like stag dos, where the key seems to be the distance from home travelled (and the money spent). I can’t believe how many women I’ve heard cancelling having a weekend altogether just because they weren’t able to get on a plane.
To me, flying somewhere for your bachelorette weekend has always been a bit unnecessary and can actually cause problems and create stress. Not ideal.
I am a big fan of focusing on the little details and the people you are with, rather than the location and the activities. So, you can’t fly everyone to Disneyland? Rent a nearby apartment/ house and turn it into a totally personalised Disney wonderland!
You would be amazed at how special you can make your bride feel by concentrating on the details, instead of worrying about the destination
Why is believing in these 3 myths problematic?
Planning a Bachelorette should be a fun, uplifting and rewarding experience. If you fall victim to these myths then you can turn the whole thing into a stressful, frustrating, confusing and unnecessarily expensive one.
As someone who has spent time cultivating over 1000 hen party ideas, I have never had more faith in the phrase
“You do you”
Do not get bogged down in the “shoulds”. If you are the Bride, be clear on what you want, no matter what anyone else thinks. If you are the planner, your job is to listen to what the bride wants and do your best to make it happen, not convince her to fit into a box she doesn’t want to be in.
So take heart. You can do this! Don’t for a second doubt yourself
Hi! My name is Sherrie and I am the Fairy Hen Mother behind How to Hen. I started this site because I wanted to create a space where bridesmaids and maids of honour could get inspired and feel confident in their ability to plan a kick-ass bachelorette (hen) party for their bestie.
If you are feeling overwhelmed, stressed or lost on how to create a perfectly personal, unique bachelorette weekend for your bride, then you need the How to Hen Toolkit. it’s the roadmap that guides you through every part of the process and gives you everything you need.