How to be the perfect Hen Party guest

Anyone who has been to their share of bachelorette parties will tell you that it can sometimes be a bit of a strain on relationships, but if you want to avoid awkwardness and be the best guest you can be, here are my 5 top tips.

Reply to everything, and quickly

This is the number one rule and I can’t stress it enough.

The organizer(s) will have a lot on their plate and will be doing their best to get everything planned out as much as possible. If she posts in the group asking what people think about a particular accommodation… REPLY. It wasn’t rhetorical and the longer she has to wait to hear from everyone, the more difficult it’s going to be to get things in place.

Even if there is something shared that isn’t a direct question, interact somehow to let her know you have seen it. Try to make her life as easy as possible so she can focus on bringing the party to life for the bride.

Be Enthusiastic

This applies both before the weekend and during.

Before the weekend, if there is a message or post in the event group, take the time to respond to it. Even if it’s not a question or something you need to know, give it a like or a comment to encourage the planner and let her know she’s doing a good job. Even if the posts are cheesy and not your style, she’s really making an effort to engage with you and get you excited, so don’t leave her hanging. It only takes a minute to respond to something on Facebook and you’ll help motivate her to keep going. 

If you don’t like an idea (or more importantly you think the bride won’t like it) then try to be diplomatic in how you approach it. Don’t just shoot it down, but maybe share an example of why you think the bride wouldn’t enjoy it and try to suggest something similar that would work better instead?

Carry this enthusiasm through to the actual weekend. Be up for trying things and show that you are happy to be there. If you genuinely can’t do something or are sure that you don’t want to try it, be an enthusiastic cheerleader from the side-lines. Absolutely no eye-rolling or sitting on your phone while others enjoy themselves. Don’t kill the vibe man.

Don’t be flaky. Follow through

If you commit to doing something, do it. Of course, sometimes things come up like work commitments but on the whole, if you have agreed to something, you should stick to it. The two biggest examples of this are:

  • Agreeing to accommodation and then pulling out because you’ve found somewhere cheaper or live nearby. Not only is this majorly inconvenient for group activities, but this often means the price-per-person goes up for everyone else.
  • Saying you will bring along a specific item and then not bringing it. Again, the organizer may well have avoided buying or borrowing said item because they were counting on you to do your bit. If you were the person responsible for bringing the big extension cord for all the electronics, then that could really mess with the weekend. Even with the non-essential stuff though like fancy dress pops or that specific bottle of wine the bride likes, it’s still a little bit of a buzzkill for both you and the organizer when you have to have that awkward “Oh sorry I forgot” interaction.

Make an effort to mingle


Bachelorette weekends can be awkward because there are usually different groups of people being forced together when the only thing they have in common is the bride. Instead of letting the awkwardness rule or falling into your friend clique, make an effort to bond with the people you don’t know. Not only will it make the weekend more comforting for everyone as it goes on, but it will make the bride happy to see all these different parts of her life coming together and working well.

Plus, if you get paired up with the friend from work to hump a balloon together, you want to make sure you’ve had more interaction than an awkward wave earlier that day.

On a similar note, try not to get sucked into any drama or gossiping. It’s easily done, but you don’t want to get into a habit of bitching about other guests or whispering in your own little groups (even if that person did something to deserve it) Don’t create tension or facilitate a situation where someone could get their feelings hurt. Because inevitably that will hurt the bride when it gets back to her.

Think about the Bride

If all else fails, think about the bride. Presumably, you care about her since you’re attending her bachelorette, so keep her in the front of your mind and you can overcome anything.

  • Is the location somewhere a little pricier than you would have liked but she’s always wanted to visit? Save a little more each month and think about her.
  • Does the thought of a stripper make you sick, but you know she’d find it hilarious? Close your eyes, shimmy your shoulders and think about her.
  • Does her mother always corner you and ask about your ex-boyfriend because she “Always liked that boy”? Take a deep breath (and a big drink) and think about her.

There are almost always some tense moments to navigate when being part of a bachelorette party, but if you follow these tips, you’ll be the dream guest. 

Hi! My name is Sherrie and I am the Fairy Hen Mother behind How to Hen. I started this site because I wanted to create a space where bridesmaids and maids of honour could get inspired and feel confident in their ability to plan a kick-ass bachelorette (hen) party for their bestie.

If you are feeling overwhelmed, stressed or lost on how to create a perfectly personal, unique bachelorette weekend for your bride, then become a member today and feel all the weight lift from your chest as you enter a world where hen party planning has never been simpler.

If you have any questions, I would LOVE to hear from you. You can contact me here, or follow me on Instagram or Facebook and drop me a DM

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